Confidence…. Urgh! It’s something that millions of female entrepreneurs struggle with all over the world! And it can really block not only your own creative flow, but also stop you from putting yourself out there online, doing speaking gigs, going Live on Facebook and so many other things!
Even just hitting ‘post’ on a Facebook status update or publishing a blog post or podcast!
I mean who wants to listen to you, right?
The answer is simple:
Millions of people worldwide need to know what you have to share - even if you don't believe that at the time!
Just trust me! And soon your confidence WILL grow. I promise you.
But in the meantime, here are some tips from a FB Live I did over on my FB Page to help you build your confidence - and why it's so important that you do!
Confidence leads to success!
Watch the video, or feel free to read the blog post below!
Hey everybody, hope you guys are all doing super duper good today. It is Bank Holiday Monday YAY!...and it's not raining - DOUBLE YAY! In England, we always, always, always have rain on bank holidays! So fingers crossed, it holds off for today. It's been okay so far. I hope you guys have an awesome weekend!
As I said, I'm going live Monday to Friday, every Monday to Friday in May at 12 noon right here on this page so make sure you don't miss any of the free trainings that I'm going to be providing for you! If you want to catch up on them, don't forget, you can sign up to my email list as well! So just visit THIS PAGE and sign up to the email list and I'll send you the replays too!
So, today I wanted to talk about confidence because it's something that I've struggled with an awful lot, in my life and it's something that I think an awful lot of business owners really, really struggle with.
And when we're not confident, we would not only have a lot of negative talk, to yourself and we tell ourselves a lot of negative stories.
So we not only tell ourself an awful lot of negative stories, but we also, it also stops us from doing an awful lot in our life, right? In our lives and in our business life.
There was a time where I would NEVER in a million years have gone up and stood in front of a room full of people and talked! There was a time where I would never have gone and done videos and live streams and not have a script and just be like, "Okay, I'm going to come on and chat. And, you know, talk about business.”
So, you know, confidence really, REALLY IS important, but there are lots of things that you can do to gain that confidence because confidence isn't always something you're necessarily born with. But it is something that I teach over in the The £100K Club, so you've always got someone in your corner!
It's something you learn - and you can learn it at any point in your life.
So what I wanted to do today was to give you 10 reasons why you need to gain some confidence in yourself to be more successful in your business and tell you one thing that has made the biggest change in my life.
It's something that I was told only a couple of years ago and somebody told me and I was like, WOW! and that kind of stuck.
And you know, when you get that thing that kind of really, really sticks in your head and you're like, that's awesome. Right?
Here's the first one. The first one is pretty simple. It's the drive to start things. So when you're confident about something, you're not kind of shy about, you know, striking out on own, going into business, starting a new idea, talking to people, you're not shy about actually taking that step to do things.
So even if other people around you are still, you know, just thinking about setting up their own business or just, you know, thinking about an idea they've got or thinking about going live every single day.
When you're confident, you just DO it. Okay? And that is definitely something that you can just learn how to do.
Another thing is that you, when you're more confident, you have the ability to stand up for yourself so you can stand up for yourself and defend yourself if you need to, but you can be fair.
Otherwise if you feel like someone's attacking you and your business or you have, maybe a bad reaction from a client or a customer or somebody says something negative about you online, as long as you're confident enough in yourself, you know how to stand up for yourself in that.
And we're not saying, you know, go into an all out war with people, of course not! But you know, just being able to stand up for yourself with dignity and pride and respect for yourself. And that's really, really important.
Okay. So the third thing is the ability to say "No!" And so many times, people who aren't very confident, they don't have a big self belief, can't say no to other people and you'll find it doesn't just happen in their business. It happens in their whole life.
Somebody says, can you lend me money? And you haven't got any money. You know, you can't say no. So they give it to them anyway, even though it's detrimental to you or your family.
If somebody asks you to do something in your business and it's not something that you like doing or you would normally do or it's not part of your packages.
You know - you can say no, and that's absolutely okay to do that. So you don't have to take on, you know, unnecessary work or, obligations or tasks or, or people that you don't feel like you have to.
That's absolutely fine. It's your life, it's your business, it's your choice.
On the flip side of that, you've got the ability to say “Yes!". So at the same time, people who are more confident can say yes to opportunities...
So when somebody comes up to you and says, ”I'd love to interview you for my podcast!” If you're not confident enough, you're going to shy away and go, "Oh my God, no, I can't do that! I don't know what I'm talking about!"....
...Then the whole ‘imposter syndrome’ sets in and then you're like, “I don't know. I'm talking about I'm not good enough.” All that stuff comes up.
If you work on being more confident, then you can say yes to that - and just think of the opportunities that saying yes can actually bring you in your business!
Do a little challenge. Have a week, or a month where every time somebody asks you to do something, look at it and go, ‘is this going to help me?’ If the answer is yes, do it - say yes straight away.
And likewise, if you're the type of person who says yes to everything and you need to learn to say no to more things, then use that same system.
Another thing is that when you're confident, you're less scared, right?
It kind of makes sense.
So if you lack confidence, you can get really, really paralyzed, from fear.
Literally. You can be so fearful of failing, of being visible, of what people are going to think about you, what people are gonna say about you, who's gonna come , and watch you doing your Live.
You can be scared about family coming and seeing you do your Lives.
You can be scared about, people that you've worked with, ex-colleagues and people like that.
But you know what? It doesn't matter!!
As long as you know what you're talking about, you're talking about something that has had an impact on you. You can either talk from experience or you can talk from expertise. As long as you can do one of those two things, then you can overcome that fear. All right?!
So you need to have the confidence to face your fears and overcome them.
TIP: If you're not quite at the stage where you feel you can come up with ALL the content you need for Facebook Lives, text statuses, images & graphics, blog posts and emails... The Content Creators Vault has all this pre-done for you!
Okay. So what about believing in yourself? Definitely.
So it means if you believe in yourself, you can pretty much do anything right?
And think about if you have children, what do you tell them?
"You can do anything you want to, you can do anything you set your mind to. You can do anything that you feel like doing!"
And there's a great quote from Henry Ford who said:
"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right."
Because what's going on up here? What's going on in your mindset is the most important thing. Because if you're thinking that you can't do something, you're gonna start having all the negative and the self doubt and the bad stories coming into your mind. And you're not going to end up doing it, right?
And if you think that you can do this, you can make money online. You do have a great personality. You are fantastic doing Lives, you are going to be successful, you are going to be profitable. All of those things will start happening for you because you're going to actively start pursuing them.
And here's another thing. When you're confident, you set the bar high and then you set the bar even higher than that, right?
Because you're gonna aim high, you know that you can do it.
If you're not confident, you're going to set small, tiny little goals.
Maybe talking about having 10 people sign up to your email list in a week, whereas a confident person is going to say, "Nah, hell that I'm going to have a hundred people or a thousand people" and they're gonna work their butts off to do that because they've got the confidence in themselves.
Another thing on that is that it lets you stretch your limits as well.
By stretching your limits, you can increase them. So the more you're increasing your limits, you're increasing your goals at the same time.
And always remember that you are - you really, really are - stronger than you think you are.
It's amazing what the human mind and the human body can go through and get through and come out the other side of!
Sometimes it feels like shit! But you can do it. You can get there and it's okay to feel like shit. It's okay to be like that. And you’d be like, do you know what? “I got through that” and be proud of yourself and feel good about yourself for doing that.
Another great thing about being confident and how it can help you and help you to be more successful in your business is that allows you to ask questions.
If you think about it, if you're not confident, you're going to shy away.
You're going to back into a corner.
If you're in a networking meeting, for instance, you're the person standing by the, the ‘nibbles table’ at the side of the room, or you're holding back.
But if you're a confident person, you're going to be going up talking to people and actually doing what you're there to do, which is build relationships with people!
If you're in a seminar or your, even on an online webinar or something... I remember there was a time where I used to watch these online webinars and they were interactive and they were live. And I had a question but I wouldn't ask it - and I wouldn't ask it because I was just really scared that it was a stupid question!
And that's why whenever anybody ever says to me, I'm in the Female Coaches Lounge, our Facebook Group, if anyone ever says, “this is a really silly question, but…”
I always answer: “There are no silly questions. There are no stupid questions, there are no daft questions! Any questions you have is a genuine real question.”
Then it's a genuine, real question and we're always happy to help you with that!
So being more confident is important even in those little things.
And it's things like that that can help you increase your confidence levels by asking questions. So ask a question if you feel scared to do it, but ask it anyway.
And that will build your confidence because you'll realize that no one's going to shoot you down. No one's gonna say anything bad. They're just going to help you out. And if somebody does say something bad that's on them, that's about them and their mindset, not you at all. And you'll probably find that you then have 50 people coming to your defense. Okay?!
And lastly is that you've got a believe in yourself. So when you're confident, you have that belief in yourself and you believe that you can succeed, you believe that you can win, you believe in success as a whole and what that means to you. So you believe in your own ability to do that. And that's really, really, really important.
Okay. So what happens if you're thinking, “Okay, that all that's absolutely great. I love that. I want to be confident but I’m just NOT!”
This is the thing that a lovely lady called Karyl Iyles said to me a couple of years ago.
"It's not about being confident, it's about being courageous because being courageous comes before being confident."
You've got to have the courage to take the first step, the courage to do something.
So let's just say you were asked to go on stage and speak to a room full of a thousand people or 2000 people, 10,000 people, whatever!
You’re asked to go on stage and speak to a group of people and you have never done it before and you are totally worried about what was going to happen.
And you're like…
“What if I mess up?”
“What if I forget what I'm saying?”
“What if I lose my notes?”
“What if people laugh at me?”
“What if people don't clap at the end?”
What if, what if....
And you've got all those fears about it.
That's absolutely fine. It’s absolutely normal to feel like that.
I guarantee you, nobody for the very first time that they go on stage and talk to a room full of people, is going to go on that 100% confident and be like, “I'm confident I can do this!” Right?
They're not going to be 100% confident.
They are always going to have those fears.
But what they do have is the courage to do it the first time.
Because once you've done it a few times, that is when your confidence comes in because you know you've done it. You know you can do it. Okay?
So there's just a few little confidence tips and hacks from me today. I hope there's really helped you all. Take care guys, and I will see you tomorrow!
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